No-one said Africa was easy!

I spent the vast majority of this weekend driving.

Not just anywhere, mind you - but all over the god forsaken backwaters of deepest, darkest Africa...(insert Jungle Drums and ululating maiden Sound effects here). I wish I could shout "Road-Trip" and start making "Thelma and Louise" comparisons, but to be honest the first part was work, and the second part was predominantly getting back from work...with a leisure stop off along the way.

Spending 7 hours dodging chickens and donkeys sort of give one a new perspective on things to be frank. I had sort of forgotten what i think it is that makes this country so special.

I need to clarify that I am indeed, one of those "bloody agents" that Julius and the brotherhood apparently wish to wheedle out of the country. I was born in the United Kingdom, and was dragged here kicking and screaming at the age of 8, and told to like-it or lump-it by my parents.

I like it!
A lot!
 So much in fact, that I choose to live here.
Yup - shock, gasp, clutch the pearls.

I could make Julius happy, and go back to the UK, I have the paperwork to go and join the rest of my family in Oz.

but, and here is the zinger....I don't think i want to, not right now anyway.


You see, the beauty of this country is its unpredictability.

Just when you think you have it all figured out, South Africa sort of acts like that bloke in the "Crying Game" who rips off his clothes (Zzziippppp .... Zzzinggggg) to reveal a shock twist in the tale.

Let me elaborate...

I drove from JoBurg to Polokwane - and got a speeding fine.


Why is that a good thing? Because i got one, and I am supremely chuffed about it.! I mean I ACTUALLY got the fine..not an extortion attempt.

The pleasantly mannered police office, whilst rather puzzled to see the fake dismembered arm adorning my dashboard (it's a street vendor prevention device - I strongly urge you all to invest in one immediately) never once attempted to solicit a bribe, or suggest I should buy him and his mates a cooldrink...he just did his job, courteously, politely and with a smile on his face.

Zzziippppp .... Zzzinggggg !

 I hit Polokwane and drove my luxury motor vehicle into the middle of a township, to stage an event for one of my clients. Not only was I deep in supposed "bloody agent disposal" territory, i was with one of my young female event managers, in a separate car.

I never once felt threatened, concerned, worried, panicked, stressed or dead!

Instead I have to admit to feeling genuinely invigorated at the urban energy seeping from every pore of the township.

I strongly suggest you try it! Its a blast!

Zzziippppp .... Zzzinggggg !

On the way out of Polokwane, I decided to head back to civilisation through the back roads, for an unscheduled Dullstroom drinkypoo. Why not!

En-route to Lydenburg I was forced to slow down at various stages of the journey. Not for traffic congestion, like the Londoners face, or the omnipresent Aussie Police.

Nope, this is Africa mate!
 
I slowed for a combination of swerving Taxi's, Clucking Chickens, Depressed Donkeys, the occasional Cow - and a Citi-Golf driver whose left rear wheel was firmly of the opinion that it could go further and faster if it was NOT attached to the car.

(It bounced into on-coming traffic before settling harmlessly gently near a street-side barber shop)






Through all of this activity, and becoming relatively up-close and personal to a vast range of South African's in the truest sense of the word...I realised that despite the potential for danger, I felt remarkably calm.

My blood pressure never rose beyond normal, and my temper never flared.

For all of its' faults, the people of South Africa have never ceased to amaze me... The drivers around me were obviously all of, erm, African descent - and were on the same journey, experiencing the same delays - and dodging the same livestock!

No one honked, hooted or shouted.
No one angrily waved a fist or furiously floored their Fiesta.
We all, sort of, just got on with it.


Zzziippppp .... Zzzinggggg !

No-one ever said Africa was easy.
But its a damn site better than rainy England or spoon-fed Australia!

I am going to Durban next week.
I am thinking of Driving...just for the experience!